The New Reality
One of those “what's in, what's out” lists.

By Dave Shiflett, NRO Columnist
December 29 - January 1, 2001

Christmas was coming
The goose was getting fat
So we ate her and her children
And that was that.
— Freshly penned folk song

t's nice to have Christmas behind us. As mentioned last week, some insightful Americans have concluded it's high time we deported Santa Claus and his pal, the Easter Bunny. Among other things, both are very much out touch with current realities.

We are at war with tough people who eat dirt and, for entertainment, smoke scorpions. I'm talking about the grunts, of course. Despite brave talk about fighting to the death Mullah Omar and Slim bin Laden may well be scuttling toward Antigua with a pair of 23-year-old belly dancers and a case of Night Train wine. May God rain festering cankers and boils upon them.

Meantime, one assumes great challenges await us, and so we must be prepared to suffer hard blows and return them in triplicate. In the cause of further toughening ourselves, here's one of those "what's in, what's out" lists that are a staple of New Year journalism. Memorization is strongly suggested; all spellings approximate.

This list is not exhaustive, is susceptible to change. J.Lo, it should also be pointed out, has entertained our troops and is therefore to be commended. J.Lo in camo, it should be added, ain't half bad. She's doing more for troop morale than Betsy Ross ever dreamed of.

After the war, of course, vilification will resume.